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So remember to use these top tips, and in the brief moments before the police arrive, you’ll be ‘orgasum-ing’ with the best of them! Once you’re ‘on the internet’, simply open a ‘chat window’ (the best thing for this is the video chat function on Facebook) then start undressing in front of a Facebook friend picked at random or a relative, and… (Probably read that last bit in the voice of that bloke who says ‘let’s get ready to rumble’.) 2. You absolutely do NOT want to be hampered by annoying items of clothing when you’re trying to do a cybersex, so in order to be as attractive as possible to your online partner, get as naked as a newborn baby. One or both of your arms are going to be moving really fast, so get yourself in a position that allows you to move freely. You might want to send your cybersex partner a bunch of flowers or maybe a box of Cadbury’s Miniature Heroes to say thank you for helping you get off over the internet.

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