Start Dating during divorce and kids

Dating during divorce and kids

No matter how inconvenient, try to accommodate your ex-partner as you figure out visitation schedules.

It's enough for them to understand what will change in their daily routine — and, just as important, what will not. You might say something like: "Mom and dad are going to live in different houses so they don't fight so much, but we both love you very much." Older kids and teens may be more in tune with what parents have been going through, and might have more questions based on what they've overheard and picked up on from conversations and fights.

Tell kids who are upset about the news that you recognize and care about their feelings, and reassure them that all of their upset feelings are perfectly OK and understandable.

As soon as you're certain of your plans, talk to your kids about your decision to live apart.

Although there's no easy way to break the news, if possible have both parents there for this conversation.

Tell your kids that sometimes adults change the way they love each other or can't agree on things and so they have to live apart.

But remind them that kids and parents are tied together for life, by birth or adoption.

It's important to try to leave feelings of anger, guilt, or blame out of it.

Practice how you're going to manage telling your kids so you don't become upset or angry during the talk.

But telling them what they need to know at that moment is always the right thing to do.

Many kids — and parents — grieve the loss of the kind of family they had hoped for, and kids especially miss the presence of both parents and the family life they had.

Every divorce will affect the kids involved — and many times the initial reaction is one of shock, sadness, frustration, anger, or worry.